Sunday, September 11, 2016

Leaving with Integrity

I am usually the type to become quieter and quieter, more and more withdrawn. It's like I wish I could just disappear.

However, this time, painful as it may be, I'd like to try to do things a better way. 

Part of my nature is to be quiet and contemplative, especially when I'm troubled or faced with a major decision. I don't really gossip, though I may reach out for advice and guidance to a trusted few.

Now that it is clear to me that God is leading me in a new direction, I need to tell those who are important to me, and to whom I am important, that I am going. And I'm praying for the right words. The right time. 

So that I can be honest without resorting to gossip or cruelty. 

Clear without reducing this decision to game-playing. 

Resolute so that they can understand this was not a decision made lightly but only after much prayer, thought, and heartache.

Kind so they know my love for them is not diminished.

And then I will need courage to take the next steps. I am such a creature of habit. I love my routines, the knowing, the sameness. Adventures terrify me. It would be easier to stay, yet at the same time, impossible. This place is no longer my place.

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